COCKED

i just figured something out. i dont write much anymore and i think it is because over time my posts have been aimed at entertaining people who might read this. that's not to say i dont like it when people read my blog, i have just noticed that i have slowly started writing for the readers and not myself. so what is the difference? i rant a lot more when i dont think people will read something.

so, here i go.

i played my trumpet today for the first time in about six months. i stopped playing regularly last summer because i got tired of people complimenting me on my 'incredible ability to improvise' when they dont know the first thing about it.* ignorance is bliss. apparently they didnt notice what the byu music program did when i auditioned for the jazz band and didnt make it. the fact is, im not that good. shut up, i mean it. my technique sucks, i have a crappy armature, and i cant play very high. i have a decent sense of rhythm and style, but im sloppy. i have developed a technique over the years of guessing the chords rather than taking the time to actually figure them out. in other words, i got pretty good at playing by ear.

i know how to read music and chord progressions very well. im just lazy. you see, when i first got into jazz (8th grade) i got some play-a-long cds and just played the same thing over and over for hours. i would simply figure out the root chord and only play that. i had a great time just playing whatever the crap i wanted. but it didnt help me get any better. long story short, i use a more sophisticated version of that same model.

well, today just reaffirmed the effectiveness of that system so long as i only play along with cds. i suppose it is enough to impress those who dont know any better.**

for most of my life i have struggled with accepting compliments. i used to fight it. i would actually argue with the person and downplay anything nice they might have to say about me. this brings me to the one personality i truly hate. and i mean hate.

cocky people.

i knew a kid in high school, named brandon, who was just that. he was the lead sax in the jazz band and had a passionate romp with a very popular girl. so naturally he thought he was god's gift to anything and everything. that's all im going to say about him. he was the second person i ever hated.

the first person was a basketball player in 6th grade, named adam. he actually tried to convince me that basketball was a full contact sport. me!?! i was a freaking wrestler. i know what full contact is and i refuse to believe that a sport that penalizes you for touching some one's hand is great. sorry, paige. basketball sucks.

anyways, because i loath cocky people i often try to do the opposite. not because im humble. hardly. im a pretty cocky bastard myself. and it is one of the things i hate most about myself.

so, im sure i have offended some of you. if i have, eh, you'll probably get over it. if you dont get over it, then stop reading my blog.

* jazz is a lost art. im sorry for those of you who read this thinking "i know what jazz is. i love jazz. big bad voodoo daddy is awesome. nora jones has an amazing voice. swing dancing if fun." the fact is, most people who like "swing" are dorks that dont know the first thing about it. just take a walk through the HFAC and you'll see what i mean. if you can tell the difference between maynard ferguson and jon faddis then you might know what you are talking about. anyone ever heard of sammy nestico? buddy rich? mingus? the duke? didnt think so.

** dont even get me started on vocalists.