HOLY AWKWARD MOMENT, BATMAN

so, i spent most of last saturday afternoon at "lavender fest" (i was coersed by female company) in mona, utah (of all bloody places). afterwards, my hang out group and i sat out side of the "big red barn with homemade ice cream inside," eating the said homemade ice cream...outside. as i sat there eating my toffee cruch in a waffle cone, jessica said to me that i am emotionless and cold hearted. she was joking, but it isnt the first time i have been accused of such things.

i cant say that it surprised me. in fact, i usually welcome such comments as they only add to my manliness. and this time was no different. i was wearing my "stewart, colbert '08" campaign shirt and my "bisco industrial supply" hat (with camo on the inside). i was oozing masculinity.

but it did remind of the one time i actually did try to open up a little bit to a girl (sorry guys--your day will come...eh, who am i kidding? i dont wanna open up to you any more than you want to open up to me.) in my defense, it happened on a long drive back from montana with erin. weird things happen on long road trips. like opening up.

i dont really have anything against opening up to people (besides that it is usually none of their business). i suppose if you feel better about yourself or have some kind of closure it can be a truly enriching and beneficial experience. this wasnt the case with erin. you see, it started with a comment she made. or i made. i dont remember exactly. it ended up with me saying that my dad was really busy when i was a kid and i never did anything with him. then i added, "i guess that explains part of the way i am." there it is. against my better judgment, i opened up to erin january something-er-other 2006; completely making myself vulnerable to comments and insight. then she said, "haha, i bet that's why you are the way you are!" she missed it! she completely missed it! i brushed it off and said, "eh, could be." then she quickly looked at the road, as if she had forgotten she was driving.

that'll teach me. what was i thinking anyway? i am perfectly happy with my vaulted insecurities. they keep me company on lonely nights...