PORTAL TO HELL...AND ALL THAT JAZZ!

so at 6-ish am today my roommate wakes me up while he is getting ready for work (accidentally). i roll over and go back to sleep. this is more or less the dream i had:

i am with this random girl i just met and we are on a date (uncharacteristic, i know). we go to outback steakhouse. good food, i have only been there once in real life tho. after we are seated, i go back into the kitchen and walk straight to the cook and start talking (also very uncharacteristic). i say something like:

me: "hey, how's it going?"
cook: "great!"
me: "steaks are looking good, blah blah blah. blah blah. blah blah blah bleh!"
cook: "totally"
me: "i wish i knew all of the different cuts of meat. they should have like a chart or something that i can carry around. it would be really handy."
cook: "i know. i wish i knew the different cuts. like this one time i made this for queen so-and-so" (shows me huge chunk of toffee colored meat)
me: "cool"
cook: "and i made this for so-and-so" (shows me same chunk of meat, but a darker color)

then i leave him and go help my date onto a plane, which i end up boarding as well. we have these huge pole-like bags for our carry-ons and wander around the airplane (which is just a continuation of outback, and is the size of a community center). most of the other people are doing the same. just wandering around the airplane. very few seats to speak of actually.

as we walk through a tunnel in the middle of the plane, we pass two people who are about to run into each other. they do. then all hell breaks loose...literally.

one of the guys charges the other in sort of a football lineman fashion and rams him into me. i turn around and, in an attempt to break them up, push them back (not sure how that would have broken up the fight, but that really was my intent). then i see that the guy facing me has a plastic head. not like a mask. his head is actaully plastic, and very small, and very angry. he gnashes his teeth and growls at me and gets down on all fours and charges the other guy again. this time the other guy has a two-sided battle axe in his right hand and swings the axe into the demon dude's face. demon-dude growls again and gnashes teeth like before and charges again. this time the axe-man hits demon-dude in the side of the neck several times. then demon-dude's mangled head flops to the ground his body runs off.

i woke up and ate marshmallow mateys.