YET ANOTHER MISADVENTURE IN FAST FOOD

today i tried the philly cheese steak burger at carl's jr. and decided i like it. how ever, this wasnt the first time i have eaten this burger. the first time i was too hungry to give an unbiased opinion. i had the 'shakes.' but this isnt because i am hypoglycemic (some times i do wonder, tho). no, it all started on a friday morning early last december while i was at work.

i was the only one at work besides my boss when my boss's boss's co-worker comes in and tells my boss to pick up a bale of straw for him. of course, he then delegates to me. so i figure i can leave at about 11:30 am, pick up the bale and then pick up something for lunch on my way back to work.

so i head out to a place called 'intermountain farmers association' (or some thing like that) out by the train tracks in provo. it turns out that they dont have any in stock. but they do have a shipment coming in later in the week. but that doesnt help me, so they suggest i go to some other place in spanish fork. but they dont give very good directions. so i make a wrong turn and have to turn around about 2 miles down the road.

i find the store. it is a lot like home depot and goodwill rolled into one convenient warehouse. it is like the opposite of a farmer's market. at first i felt a little out of place. but then i realized that i am wearing flannel and i have a beard. so i grab a shopping cart and head in.

i ask a store employee if they have any bales of straw and she says "ummm, i think all of the straw is gone. we wont get any for a while because all of the farmers are saving what they have for their own animals. so, your best bet would be to drive around the farms and ask if you can buy a bale off of them." i was less than thrilled about that proposition. i had no idea that there was a shortage of straw in december. but i would have expected my boss's boss's co-worker to know about it.

luckily, people in spanish fork are friendly. friendly enough to eaves drop on my conversation with the clerk and tell me a better way to get a bale of straw. a man with his wife actually calls his buddy to see if he has any straw. which he does. so now i have two options. i can either try to find this dude's farm in the middle of nowhere. or wait for him to make his delivery to another 'intermountain farmers association' store. i decide to try the store idea since i am using the company credit card and i dont expect a farmer to have a swipe machine at his farm house. just a hunch.

so the man and wife give me fairly good directions to the store and i am on my way. by this time i am really hungry. it is well after my usual lunch time. so i keep my eye open for any food establishments on my way to the store. as i follow the directions i notice my last turn a little too late. no worries, i tell myself. i can just turn around. about three miles down the road i finally find a cross road. right next to a hare krishna temple (which i have actually been to for my 'world religions' class).

so i turn around and go back to the store and pick up the third to last bale of straw they have in stock ($5.35 plus tax, i might add). by this time it is after one o'clock and i am nearly shaking with hunger. i am eyeing various types of bird feed and convince myself that it just isnt worth it. on my way back to the freeway i spot heaven in fast food form: carl's jr. but the line is insane. but i am too hungry to not stop. blast. so after another 20 minute wait in the drive through line and actually starting to shake with hunger, i finally get my philly cheese steak burger and scarf it down while im driving back to provo.

one week later my boss's boss's co-worker takes the bale of straw from the back of our truck...