FORGET-ME-KNOTS

today i am prepared to use the over-used word "plethora." yup, i have decided i am actually going through with it. here it goes: there are a plethora of differences between men and women. there. that wasnt so bad.

many of these differences are emotional, social, mental, gastrointestinal or imaginary. but i think the main differences (the ones not up for political debate) are the physical differences. one of these differences is hair. sure, the actual molecules of hair across genders is universal. but lets face it, it is a little weird to see a dude with longer, fuller, healthier looking hair than his female counterpart. traditionally, girls look better with long hair and men with short hair.

so, as a man with short hair i will never know the trouble that girls go through to keep their hair looking good. for example, i will never have to spend 10 minutes a night combing the knots out of my hair. sure i have had knots in my hair when it gets a little long. but that is usually the point when i just chop it off. i have seen my sisters comb out particularly gnarly knots (i swear, i had nothing to do with it...) and it is tedious. but knots are not sexist nor prejudiced and are not limited to the hair on one's head.

another difference between men and women is the location of hair growth. now, some places are the same. and we arent going there. but if you think about it, a moderately hairy man has a greater potential for knots. you could even use the age old business rule: location, location, location.

now, since length of hair is certainly a factor when calculating the magnitude of a knot, girls have us beat in complexity of gnarls. but men have the more sensitive areas pretty well... covered. namely, the armpits (with the exception of certain slavic/french/aboriginal cultures).

unlike many females, when a guy gets a knot in his armpit hair he doesnt notice it right away. in fact, the only time i notice it is when im in the shower. so a knot in the armpit could be present for as long as 24 hours (may be longer in some cases). and since it is noticed in the shower we dont have the tools present that females use to remove such things (i.e. combs, picks, brushes). but we certainly dont want to just ignore it until we can find such a tool since we will probably forget all about it and just leave it there (keep in mind such tools are harder to round up if the man has little to no head-hair). so we use the only tool we have available in a shower--the first tool god gave man--our hand.

i think i have a bald spot.