i have participated in and been the subject of several conversations concerning dating. it is awkward, really. usually it is not so much about dating itself as it is about not dating. i have been accused of not putting forth any effort and not asking girls out for superficial reasons. fair enough. however, in my defence i will say that 'dating' is not what it used to be and there are, in fact, alternatives to dating (at least in the initial stages of the relationship). you see, i can tell you within five minutes of a conversation with a girl if i will ever have any interest in ever possibly pursuing even a casual relationship with that girl. oh, i'm good.
with that said, get off your soap boxes about how hanging out is bad and first dates are good. the first date is a sham. you can get to know some one quite well with out the pressure of a good impression. besides, i have talked to older generations (much, much older, mind you). dating meant something quite different. when we say 'dating' we actually mean paired off. the older generations would say that you are dating anyone you take out with any regularity. even if that means twice. so you could be 'dating' several people at the same time. in other words, the definition of dating 50 years ago and the current definition of hanging out are actually defining the same thing.and another thing, what is so wrong about girls asking guys out on dates? is it immoral or simply tradition? im guessing the latter. and if it is tradition and nothing more, where did it come from? who started it? i know. it comes from the same people who said that women have no place outside the home and shouldnt vote. that's right, ladies, the comfortable assurance that you have no real responsiblity over the initializing of a relationship comes from sexist pigs whom you normally detest. so, stop complaining about not being asked out as often as you would like and take some initiative. i know for a fact that most guys are perfectly comfortable with the girl asking them out, if only for the first date. which should be enough for you to let him know you are interested in him.
let me tell you a story of what i mean by girls complaining about dating. in high school i knew a good christian girl who happened to be dating someone in a city about 45 minutes north. this 'long distance' relationship resulted in her only seeing him every once in a while. so she would go a week or two without a single date! gasp! so, about 6 months or more into this relationship she complains to me that no boys ever ask her out. to which i reply "you do know that you are dating 'so-and-so' right?" "gasp! well, its not like im engaged or married or anything like that. guys can still ask me out." i hope you are all thoroughly disgusted by this argument. taking out another man's girlfriend while full well knowing she isnt available is one step below adultery in my mind. if i were in that position i would probably break up with the hoochie mama and grab the guy by the testicles and run away with them.
i feel better.
3 comments:
In our defense, I've been told by guys that if they are interested, they will do something about it. And that a girl making the first move can be a huge turn off, even if he was interested in the first place. I don't think it has so much to do with sexism or repression. Just stupid old rules and everyone having a different version of the guide book. I say do what feels right.
Tradition is defined by old people who want us to play the dating game like they had to.
First dates are akward by design, however, and there is no way around it.
That's okay, embarassing stories are fun to tell kids and grandkids. :)
so not only do you want me to flirt, execute hair tosses that have taken years to perfect, spend an hour (ahem, or two) getting ready and picking out a cute, yet functional outfit in case we end up going, like, rock climbing, spend another hour (ahem, or two) over analyzing every part of every conversation i've ever had with the guy... but now you want me to ask out the guy and plan the date too?
you're sick.
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