I ALMOST DIIIIED, TOO

in light of nama's recent near-death experience (http://namabanana.blogspot.com/2006/11/i-almost-diiiied.html) i posed the question to myself, "how many times have i almost died?" well, not that many times. but i do have some cool stories along those lines. enjoy.

i was two years old. it was sunday morning and we were supposed to be getting ready for church. but naturally my four year old brother (he seemed so much more mature) and i decided to play a game we liked to call 'zoo.' it was simple. one person gets on the couch and pretends to be various animals at the zoo, while the other person walks by the couch and pretends to be amazed. it was my brother's turn to be the animals and he decided to be a tiger. as you well know, tigers like to growl and roar. as you may also well know, two year old children are often startled by roaring tigers.

i was so terrified i ran straight for the hallway. but i missed the hallway (i blame short legs) and my forehead found its way to the corner of a book shelf. i still have the scar, which is partly due to the second part of the story. two weeks after the stitches were taken out we went to a family reunion in idaho. we were having lunch at a park and all the kids were playing on the swings and such. remember those swings that were just large metal horses? ya, they kick hard when you stand behind them.

picture if you will a concert by an award winning high school jazz ensemble. they are in the middle of their set and the crowd just loves it as the lead alto sax starts an emotional love ballad called "for you." the piece is quite complicated and challenges even the best musicians present. as the song reaches its climax, the soloist pours his heart out with the support of the trumpet section. the second seat trumpet plays a run to the peak of his range and holds the last note as long as he can as the lead trumpet plays a similar run to a higher note. then in a flurry of flying music, stands and trombonists, the second seat trumpet player passes out, falls straight forward--narrowly escaping landing on the trumpet which would have inevitably been forcefully shoved through his face.

i got up minutes later and finished the set.

one time i jumped out of a moving train (i thought it was moving slower than it really was...). when i finished skidding across the gravel and grass, my head was inches from a large cement block.

i flipped an atv once.

one time i was wrestling some one much larger than myself and he fell on my head. his knee landed right on my temple. when i came to, i couldnt stop shaking. i also couldnt talk or see straight. and yet, i didnt get a concussion. huh.

i flipped a canoe on class 4 rapids once. it was the first set of rapids on a two day white water canoeing trip. it was snow run off and the canoe got stuck in an up-turned tree. it took a while to get it out. i was cold for days.

i have been picked up by a wedgie. that is a true near-death experience.

ok, i was debating putting this one in. i was in bulgaria on a bus when a group of skin heads got on. they didnt take too kindly to me. after an exchange of words, they pulled a gun on me and had it pointed at my head for about 10-15 minutes. if you want more details you have to talk to me in person.