HOW MANY PICS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A WORLD CUP?

eight, apparently. or is it four? you decide.














actually, i have nothing to say about the world cup. i have watched a total of about three games in my life. so the pics are going to be more of a game. i have removed the soccer ball from these pics. so all you have to do is guess where the ball used to be. fun fun.







what else can i say in between pics...hmmm. i could tell jokes! k, here we go. did you hear about the blonde chick who died raking the leaves? she fell out of the tree!












so a texan, a russian, and a new yorker go into a restaraunt and sit down. the waiter comes and says, "excuse me, but due to a shortage we have no meat." the texan pipes up and says, "i dont understand, what's a shortage?" the russian says, "well, i dont understand. what's meat?" and then the new yorker says, "and i dont understand. what's excuse me?"




funny hospital charts:
Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
The patient refused autopsy.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
The patient has no previous history of suicides.
She is numb from her toes down.
On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
Skin: somewhat pale but present



Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly woman whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. Sure is hot down here.

funny phrases:
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.







two rednecks go out hunting. one of them gets bitten by a snake and collapses to the ground. the other guy luckily has a cell phone and calls 911. the man screams, "i think bubba's dead." the operator says, "ok, calm down. first thing we need to do is make sure he's dead." there is some silence, then the operator hears a gun shot. the redneck comes back on and says, "ok, now wut?"