MIS-ADVENTURES IN FAST FOOD

i went to taco bell today for lunch. they were under-staffed, so i got to sit and watch the people around me for about 15 minutes while i waited for my order. here is what i saw:

first i noticed a young couple. i am not sure if they were married or just dating. she was in a tank-top and jeans, early 20's blonde, all around cute girl. kind of ditsy/popular-crowd and full of energy--you know the type, laughing very loudly at her own jokes, etc. this could have been caused by the "rockstar" energy drink she was sipping on. her guy-friend...exact opposite. he had a clean cut "prep" hair cut, white shirt and business tie. kind of tired/bored looking, like he just got off a 12-hour night shift at an accounting firm during the peak of tax season. he didnt laugh at her jokes. but she didnt seem to notice.

the next couple i saw wasnt quite as entertaining. they were clearly married. she wasnt a big girl. about 5'4" and 125 pounds. but she was about twice his size. he probably ran cross country.

next i saw a guy who had ordered before me. as he went up to get his order, i saw his mustache. holy freaking cow. this guy was something straight out of tombstone. he had the longest mustache i have ever seen outside of a county fair. the waxed part was about three inches by itself. i did a triple take just to make sure. i dont think he noticed. simply amazing.

but all is not good-humored side shows at tacobell. i did see something rather distrubing while i was there. at about the time i saw "super-stache man" a middle aged lady came in. she was about 5'2" and 225 pounds. she smelled of cigarettes and looked like she hadnt showered in about 5 days. as she approched the counter, she waved at the workers in the back. bad sign. after a couple minutes, the general manager came out to talk to her. the lady pulled out a paper and handed it to the manager and said something about the doctor not letting her do something. my interest perked and i hear her say, "but the doctor doesnt know what it is. so i explain, 'i work at fast food,' and he said he didnt want me...ya know, for a few days." the manager says, "so how long is a few days?" she looks at her hands very carefully and says, "i dont know, three. but if it clears up before then, ya know." the manager says, "just call me." then the lady waddles out the door.