"YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE. I GUARANTEE IT."

(alternate titles: "BEATING (AROUND) THE (PROVERBIAL) BUSH"; and "PAVLOVIAN SLIP")

i have had a lot of (awkward) conversations lately. these are the sort of conversations that start with an innocently curious question, but result in a sort of "lucky shot" at my personal life. sometimes, the inquisitor gets more than they bargained for...


i have never been much of a (good) liar or even a secretive person--just very private. i willingly give opinions on general subjects, but i tend to withhold things that might divulge any real insight (about me). this may come across as a defence mechanism to protect myself from pain or dealing with my issues (as i explain to my students). but this is a HUGE assumption. simply put, it just isnt any of their business.





i think that this sudden increase in public query is (partly) related to my band. now, i am not famous by any means, but as my band gains more fans (as does our apparent notoriety), many total strangers approach me to make small talk. some are so bold as to add me as a friend on facebook. and i am fine with this. i just have to be (increasingly) more careful with the info i give about myself (certain pics have been removed...).


this is where i should use some sort of transition, but im too lazy...


my roommate is retarded. not literally, however; but in the 90's sense of the word. lets start out by explaining that he didnt have a chance to begin with. i have had lots of roommates over the years. some good, some bad, and some retarded. this particular roommate is not a good one, but certainly not the worst. he just has the unfortunate position of being my last roommate (im getting my own place and im not looking back). which means that no matter what he does, anything that reminds me that he is in the apartment will inevitably annoy me. its nothing personal, although it some times comes across that way.


and for the record, acknowledging my own hypocrisy does nothing to diminish my disdain for this ignoramus.


first, there is the bathroom. 95% of everything in the bathroom belongs to him. which in turn means that 95% of any messes in the bathroom are his doing. he doesnt flush, he doesnt put cloths in the hamper, he doesnt wipe up toothpaste spittle (or loogies) in the sink (or on the faucet), he doesnt clean off the blue hair gel on the walls or the blood on the counter (stupid diabetes...).


he is a night owl, which isnt altogether a bad thing since he is usually out and about when im going to bed. but he does get home at dawn on a regular basis...



as a night owl, he goes "clubbing" pretty much nightly, which means his taste in music is club music. now i dont really care for hip hop, dance, trance, techno, rap, r&b, or pop music, but i realize its mostly a difference in preference. not everyone likes my music either. but as the year has gone on (and on and on) i have noticed that its not just that we have different taste in music or that he has bad taste in music in general (musical taste is relative). i have come to realize that because his music library is so unfathomably pathetic that he must simply not have any taste in music... at all.


it was almost poetic when i realized this phenomenon. i know lots of people and everyone has different musical preferences. this is the first time i have ever met some one with seemingly no taste... at all. allow me to explain.


when some one likes a song they buy it and then seek out and buy any comparable songs by the same or similar artists. eventually they will have a nice little collection of a given genre of music. usually they will branch out to other genres, thus expanding their collection.

now in the 90's this was a bit cumbersome since you had to get tapes or cd's and most people didnt bother to make copies for friends. but in the 00's file sharing exploded with the aid of things like mp3 players, limewire, itunes, rapsody, zune market place, myspace, facebook, youtube, and pandora. so i think it is reasonable to assume that the average college student in this day and age of technology would have access to at least a few hundred (if not thousands) of songs at any given time.


so how the hell does a grown man listen to the same 10 songs every single day for months on end?



it truly blows my mind how i am not even exaggerating right now. he literally listens to the same 10 songs every day, and has done so for the last 9 months i have lived with this fool. he will even listen to the same song multiple times in a row... daily. and i bet in his mind he has a good collection. maybe even a well-rounded collection. after all, he does include one power ballad and one slow country love song.


"love the way you lie" makes me want to stab somebody in the face with a soldering iron...