THAT THING THAT'S GOING AROUND

so i have recently taken to drinking hot chocolate. call it seasonal depression if you want to. i just like putting as much junk food as i can into a mug and calling it a drink (cocoa, milk, candy bars, marshmallows, chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, and, my personal favorite, mint chocolate chip ice cream.) besides, can you really call something that sears your taste buds off a "comfort food?" i didnt think so.


seasonal depression is just an excuse to wear poorly knitted sweaters and listen to christmas music 4 months prematurely. (i hope that by now everyone has realized that i am not actually describing seasonal depression. i am actually describing "middle-aged house-wife syndrome.")


that's right MAHWS is real and is plaguing our nation. you probably know people who are afflicted with MAHWS. i have relatives who have been struggling with this disease for years. nothing is harder on a family unit than finishing a nice picnic/bbq at the local park and as you start lighting the fireworks grandma starts singing "silent night..." and makes the baby cry. sure, she may blame it on the senility, but she isnt fooling anyone. MAHWS is a lifetime disease and she is a carrier.


perhaps you have experienced it yourself. have you ever found yourself laughing at a joke with a little more diaphragm than usual thus shaking your belly like a bowl full to the brim with jelly? or perhaps you wake up in the middle of the night only to find that you have a sugar plumb in your mouth and "up on the roof top" stuck in your head.


this is what you need to do if you suspect someone to have the illness. set up your living room as though it is christmas eve. if they are actually afflicted then they will just go with it no matter what time of year (or even time of day) it is. by now they will be so far gone that there is no reasoning with them. they will appear to smile constantly but it will be a more of blank grin than actual happiness. they will also sing every holiday song they know. and when they run out of songs they will likely start singing songs from other faiths or even just make up new songs all together. just sing with them. it will help keep them calm before the next part, thus making it more effective.


the next part is where you have some freedom. basically you need to kill santa.** you can do it any way that you want. i recommend something like having a dummy come down the chimney and land on a bear trap. you can also have an animal attack him (a reindeer would be the most effective but a dog or badger will work too) or simply shoot him in the head yourself. the point is that it is a bloody mess and the victim becomes so traumatized that they never want to celebrate a major holiday again.

PTSD > MAHWS.


** do not attempt on children under 12

SITE METER

so it has been about two months since i last wrote something worth reading. that is, unless some of you were able to decifer my "nervous breakdown...." just kidding. it was real.

about three days ago i looked at my site meter and realized that people have stopped checking my blog as regularly. so i decided to do an experiment: wait to write and see how long it will take for people to stop looking all together. as you can see im a horrible scientist.

so i guess i should prolly say what ive been up to. back in august i took that other job i mentioned. i also kept the other two i already had. for about 4-5 weeks i was working about 70 hours a week. (hence the "nervous breakdown") but i have since quit best buy even though the schedual says otherwise. i suppose i should go and officially quit, but the longer i postpone it the longer i get to use my employee discount...

as for my other jobs, they are going well. i have no days off though, which kinda sucks. but at least i like my jobs. and i get paid holidays and sick days and such.

so, now that i work a reasonable 45 hours a week, what do i do with my free time? well, halo 3 came out. that was pretty cool. but i have since moved on to even more destructive cartoon violence. two things have occupied my time: a cartoon i made and "the orange box."

first, the less mysterious cartoon. i made all the pictures in photoshop and recorded the music and so on in about 10 hours. originally i did them separately without considering putting them together, but the cartoon needed some sound so i just threw the song in for fun. enjoy.



so, what's in the orange box? it is a compilation of games including my personal favorite first person shooter: half life 2. but it also has two very cool bonus games which i think even non-gamers will at least find interesting. the first is greatest puzzle game since myst. the most interesting part about this puzzle game is that it is in the style of a first person shooter.

just remember, the cake is a lie.



the other game is team fortress two. the simplest way to describe this game is to say it is a cross between halo and the incredibles. this is cartoon violence at it's best. (seriously, this is the funnest multiplayer game i've played in years.)



ok, let the experiment begin.


IMPORTANT UPDATE

i dont normally update entries post facto (as opposed to updating entries pre facto) but in light of what i wrote up there ^ i have no choice but to post this. btw: he swears.



ok, back to the experiment.