Tuesday, November 27, 2007

NEW QUERK

i think just about every one has an uncommon viewpoint on some obscure topic. for years older generations thought jazz was the devil's music. now most people think jazz is one of the more innocent genres of music (you'd never see fats domino pimping out crack whores to pay for his next record. nor would frank sinatra ever sing about his "gang" affiliations). but that is a poor example of what im talking about. how about converting all 4-way stops to round-abouts? or making basic traffic violations felonies? or putting fluoride in the water (or not)? arming police with non-lethal potato guns? instead of using animals for vital scientific testing just use members of peta...?
i only agree with some of those. im not saying which...

i recently watched an HBO special on ingrid newkirk. she is middle aged, blond, divorced, british, atheist, vegan, obsessive, compulsive, imposing, quirky, fanatical, conniving, condescending, self-righteous, and is the head of a domestic terrorist organization called peta.

i am continually surprised by the number of people sucked into her campaign. she uses tactics such as trespassing, slander, destruction of private property, and vandalism to get what she wants (that's called domestic terrorism). some say she is a saint for speaking for animals who cant speak for themselves (unless she is Mrs Doolittle, i think they might be exaggerating a bit). i say she is a miss-guided vigilante with too much time and money to waste on her cause ("but her cause is so good and holy. she is the next nelson mandela." im sorry but the ethical treatment of animals is no more equal to the civil rights movement than the war in iraq is equal to "Nam." (similarities ≠ "equal") ).

and how dare they equate it to the holocaust.

think about it, science can only progress through proper testing. and proper testing almost always requires test subjects. small animals are the perfect test subjects prior to human testing. and for those of you who think that i am heartless and cruel to the core, just so you know, not all testing is dangerous or even painful. in fact, most scientific testing is neither. if you take away proper testing we will never find a cure for AIDS and cancer and TB and so on. tell me, which is the greater good?

ok, so let's talk about the slaughter houses she has infiltrated and "spied" on. they talk about isolated incidents where animals are mistreated before they are killed as if that is the norm. well, that is not the norm. for instance, at a turkey factory they put the birds on a conveyor belt before they are killed. peta's complaint is that the men pick up the birds by their feet and put them on the belt too forcefully and too quickly and some of the birds fall off the belt. i dont know how much you know about birds, but i used to raise chickens growing up (we would even kill and eat them) picking them up by their feet is not uncomfortable for them and it actually puts them to sleep. and as for falling off the belt, well i personally think that any creature that can fly (albeit only for short distances) can handle a 3-foot drop.

their only valid complaint that they actually had evidence of was an isolated incident where an employee kicked a turkey that had fallen off the belt. that should not have happened and i think butterball would agree that that type of behavior should not occur in their facilities.

the thing that really irritates me (other than the fact that they are so self-absorbed that you cant have a reasonable discussion with them. they are so convinced that they are right that they have no room for an actual debate--only mandates and ultimatums) is their method of protesting. it is all glamorized self-righteous illegal activity (did i mention public nudity?). and their targets? people that either dont want to talk to them in person (and who can blame them) or have cancelled an appointment. so naturally peta has the right to retaliate for the inconvenience through destroying the private property of those who have been so terribly rude.

if you support peta then you let the domestic terrorists win.

Monday, November 12, 2007

RETURN OF THE RAVING RABBID

so i had a dream a couple months ago about a certain stuffed bunny. and i wrote about it. well, i decided to pay tribute to the great yahtzee and make a video about it too. enjoy.


Sunday, October 28, 2007

THAT THING THAT'S GOING AROUND

so i have recently taken to drinking hot chocolate. call it seasonal depression if you want to. i just like putting as much junk food as i can into a mug and calling it a drink (cocoa, milk, candy bars, marshmallows, chocolate syrup, caramel syrup, and, my personal favorite, mint chocolate chip ice cream.) besides, can you really call something that sears your taste buds off a "comfort food?" i didnt think so.


seasonal depression is just an excuse to wear poorly knitted sweaters and listen to christmas music 4 months prematurely. (i hope that by now everyone has realized that i am not actually describing seasonal depression. i am actually describing "middle-aged house-wife syndrome.")


that's right MAHWS is real and is plaguing our nation. you probably know people who are afflicted with MAHWS. i have relatives who have been struggling with this disease for years. nothing is harder on a family unit than finishing a nice picnic/bbq at the local park and as you start lighting the fireworks grandma starts singing "silent night..." and makes the baby cry. sure, she may blame it on the senility, but she isnt fooling anyone. MAHWS is a lifetime disease and she is a carrier.


perhaps you have experienced it yourself. have you ever found yourself laughing at a joke with a little more diaphragm than usual thus shaking your belly like a bowl full to the brim with jelly? or perhaps you wake up in the middle of the night only to find that you have a sugar plumb in your mouth and "up on the roof top" stuck in your head.


this is what you need to do if you suspect someone to have the illness. set up your living room as though it is christmas eve. if they are actually afflicted then they will just go with it no matter what time of year (or even time of day) it is. by now they will be so far gone that there is no reasoning with them. they will appear to smile constantly but it will be a more of blank grin than actual happiness. they will also sing every holiday song they know. and when they run out of songs they will likely start singing songs from other faiths or even just make up new songs all together. just sing with them. it will help keep them calm before the next part, thus making it more effective.


the next part is where you have some freedom. basically you need to kill santa.** you can do it any way that you want. i recommend something like having a dummy come down the chimney and land on a bear trap. you can also have an animal attack him (a reindeer would be the most effective but a dog or badger will work too) or simply shoot him in the head yourself. the point is that it is a bloody mess and the victim becomes so traumatized that they never want to celebrate a major holiday again.

PTSD > MAHWS.


** do not attempt on children under 12

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

SITE METER

so it has been about two months since i last wrote something worth reading. that is, unless some of you were able to decifer my "nervous breakdown...." just kidding. it was real.

about three days ago i looked at my site meter and realized that people have stopped checking my blog as regularly. so i decided to do an experiment: wait to write and see how long it will take for people to stop looking all together. as you can see im a horrible scientist.

so i guess i should prolly say what ive been up to. back in august i took that other job i mentioned. i also kept the other two i already had. for about 4-5 weeks i was working about 70 hours a week. (hence the "nervous breakdown") but i have since quit best buy even though the schedual says otherwise. i suppose i should go and officially quit, but the longer i postpone it the longer i get to use my employee discount...

as for my other jobs, they are going well. i have no days off though, which kinda sucks. but at least i like my jobs. and i get paid holidays and sick days and such.

so, now that i work a reasonable 45 hours a week, what do i do with my free time? well, halo 3 came out. that was pretty cool. but i have since moved on to even more destructive cartoon violence. two things have occupied my time: a cartoon i made and "the orange box."

first, the less mysterious cartoon. i made all the pictures in photoshop and recorded the music and so on in about 10 hours. originally i did them separately without considering putting them together, but the cartoon needed some sound so i just threw the song in for fun. enjoy.



so, what's in the orange box? it is a compilation of games including my personal favorite first person shooter: half life 2. but it also has two very cool bonus games which i think even non-gamers will at least find interesting. the first is greatest puzzle game since myst. the most interesting part about this puzzle game is that it is in the style of a first person shooter.

just remember, the cake is a lie.



the other game is team fortress two. the simplest way to describe this game is to say it is a cross between halo and the incredibles. this is cartoon violence at it's best. (seriously, this is the funnest multiplayer game i've played in years.)



ok, let the experiment begin.


IMPORTANT UPDATE

i dont normally update entries post facto (as opposed to updating entries pre facto) but in light of what i wrote up there ^ i have no choice but to post this. btw: he swears.



ok, back to the experiment.

Friday, September 28, 2007

PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE

on the plus side of working a 15 hour shift today, apparently i met this guy.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

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Monday, August 27, 2007

MONY MONY

this is me using all of my free time to write a blog.